New Incentive Plan: Work-Or Get Fired

While looking for this image, I stumbled across this joke site.

Some engineering, famously wrong predictions. Of note:

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
-- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
-- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

For some reason (I like Star Trek sometimes), I found this "If you had Klingon Programmer" amusing as well. Perhaps because I’ve actually heard phrases/attitudes similar to that.

Some interesting quotes from kids on Marriage:
How Does a Person Decide Whom to Marry??
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." -Alan, age 10

Employee Evaluations:
-Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
-I would not allow this employee to breed.
-This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.
-Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
-He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

Interview Questions:

-Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.
-She threw-up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.
-Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.


The main site is here for those who have time to read more.